Thursday, December 11, 2008

On Limitations

It is cold today.  I am sensing more and more my own limitations.  I wish these had limits!  But they seem to grow everyday.  The term limitations seems to have some finality to it, some solidity.  I wish this were the case.  Limitations seems to be creeping into the seams everywhere I look.  It makes me refer to the banality of the Serenity Prayer--that I might know the difference between things I can change and things that I can't.  I wish I knew what limits could be transformed or destroyed and which ones are final, austere, solid.  If I knew these boundaries I would be able to think with my limitations.  I would be able to reject the incursion of limitation in areas where they should be banished.  The choice seems at times to be a dualistic one--banish limitation or give up.  Choose hope and faith or choose despair?  But, perhaps, it is precisely this kind of thinking that breeds despair.  Is mindless faith and optimism the parent of feelings of invalidity?  I just don't know?  Nothing is impossible! Say to the mountain throw yourself into the sea!  If you have faith like a mustard seed....  

I am longing to know my limitations so that I can dream.  To banish both my feelings of false pride and of false humility so that I can do what I am capable of doing!  To transform the ignoble suffering of antinomy into striving.....

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