over the fields/
like the hoar frost/
i attempt to fix/
in my mind/
that seem to/
and singing how Great Thou Art/
my voice a choir/
my voice a choir/
my lone voice a choir/
my song will no longer/
fill my room/
or the space between the/
and I too am atom./
Monday, July 27, 2009
I went sailing today. It was really, terribly lovely. The warm sun, the rocking, the wind on my face. It was relaxing and very comforting and, yet, invigorating. The line from Mr. Tambourine Man was brought to mind.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves, Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Yes, to not particularily thinking. I realized today that I need to cultivate more times of holy silence.
I started to write, "I must confess I wasted the day." But, I should reconsider. Eggs Benedict with a friend hardly counts as waste. Taking care of a necessary doctor's appointment--waste? Chatting with a friend, waste? No, these experiences were not wasted time. Nor, was eating dinner with my family or even watching a rerun of Little House on Prairie. But, the 3.5 hours I could have worked today were squandered, and for that I am disappointed. But, I need to remember that school is not the only work or activity that counts. I am in a cult. It is called the academy and I am in constant need of an attitude adjustment.
I feel like I have been untying a particularly tedious knot. I have been pulling and teasing and twisting to no avail. The knot is wet because I attempted to get some leverage on a particularly nasty tangle. This had made the untying even more difficult. But, wait! I think I may have untwisted something crucial. Is this the first knot. I hope. I hope that I can begin to unravel some problems I have been working on with plodding frustration for a while.
I must remember that there is always a stage of any kind of work professional or personal where exertion seems meaningless. It always require a special kind of wisdom to know when one should just lay down the entire knotty mess and when you should keep struggling a long. You might be working towards the solution....or you might be making the problem terribly worse.