This line from the hymn, "Could It Be That God is Singing" hit me pretty hard this morning.
Yes, yes, I have carried HEAVY silence. . .
"Like a sheep before her shearers is dumb..."
Why did I keep quiet?
Well, I shut up because I felt that the
security of my family necessitated that I shut up!
I shut up because my calling was a like a fire shut up in my bones and it was precious and worth defending.
I shut up because I could do so in good conscience-- I had done my duty and paid a price.
I shut up because I BELIEVED that reputation is a long game and because I believed that the the "mill of God grinds slowly, but it grinds exceedingly small!"
I shut up because I am a pragmatist and didn't believe that "speaking my truth" would concretely improve the situation.
.... But I have not forgotten. I remember. And here's the thing: the truth exists...
and within this truth I have experienced divine accompaniment, and hope, and peace.
Or, in the words of the hymnist, "Oh, the Spirit, she was singing, even when [I] could not hear her abundant streams of living, waiting for [me] to come near."
